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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Judy the Crossing Guard - Keeping our Streets Safe

Each weekday morning as I head to work I am filled with a moment of dread as I approach the intersection of Highland and Fort Thomas Ave on my way to 471 and eventually to my office.  It is inevitable - the moment of indecision as you look Judy the Crossing Guard in the eyes trying to decide if it is OK to turn right on to Highland.  Even a seconds hesitation leads to scorn and ridicule for not understanding her slight head nod as agreement to make the right turn.

Judy is Fort Thomas' version of the Soup Nazi, she just happens to keep our streets safe for our children instead of serve soup in styrofoam containers.  She takes her job very seriously, so much so that I thought she might actually come after a driver on foot for disobeying her orders.

Within the past month Judy was away (I suppose for vacation) and total chaos ensued at the intersection.  People couldn't figure out how to navigate a simple three-way stop as we have been so conditioned to follow her every order.
With nicknames like Jude Judy, she is becoming a bit of a cult hero and to add to her ever growing reputation someone (anonamously) has created a Facebook page for Judy that now numbers 1,200 followers.  She is only a few hundred away or a short YouTube clip away from being an interenet sensation.
So the next time you approach the intersection of Highland and Fort Thomas Avenue be sure to obey her commands and what ever you do - don't look her in the eyes or hestitate more than 2 seconds or you will suffer the consequences.


  1. Oh, Judy --a Fort Thomas icon! Have you ever heard of learned helplessness? She has been at that intersection for so long, that folks don't remember how to navigate the 3-way stop. There are many times that she actually makes the situation worse!
    Gotta love her!
    PS -- I am a FB follower of Judy!

  2. I loved the whistle.

    Too bad that she hyperventilated and is now not permitted to use it anymore.

    Ya gotta love Judy the crossing guard.

  3. I try to avoid the intersection at all costs when she's there. I too find it runs better when she's not there.

    When she was at Mem and N Ft Thos Ave she really made a mess of the four-way. I wrote the FTPD the day she fouled it up so bad that I sat there for more than 5 minutes.

    She was incapable of handling a whistle and directing traffic at the same time. Now she just yells at the cars- even though drivers have their windows closed most days. It's a little like tilting at windmills.

    She treats her traffic flashlight/baton like a laser pointer or ray-gun. Her hand signals are hard to see because she wears red gloves in the winter- not a bright reflective glove that might actually be seen by drivers.

    She has a tough job, sometimes in bad weather, but FTPD either needs to train and supply her properly or find an alternative.

    Yes, some of our residents obviously flunked "Taking Turns" in Kindergarten, but I'm not sure this is the answer.

  4. I love this post, but I will say, Judy definitely scares me. There has been quite a few mornings that her yelling at me (even though I couldn't hear her with the windows up, you can't mistake being yelled at by that woman by the expression on her face) has put me in a horrible mood. Not a good way to start the day!

  5. Wait, I think Judy does an awesome job. Rain, sleet, blazing hot, it doesn't matter, she is out there and makes sure that our kids can cross the street safely. I don't care if she yells at me as long as the kids can cross the street. Look her in the eye and smile at her. Don't be afraid. If you you smile and nod, she'll return the gesture.

  6. I think Judy does a fabulous job! I agree with the previous post--smile and look her in the eye and you're friends. She's one in a million and I'm glad to know there's a FB page to honor her.

  7. She's way better than the guy at N. Ft. Thomas and Memorial!!

  8. OK, Judyhater Anonymice: Probably the reason Judy (and I) are yelling at you and/or shooting you dirty looks (am I still allowed to say that in this kinder,gentler Amerika?)is that you're screwing with your latte,yapping on your phone,have your head turned completely around yelling at your rug rats,OR have no excuse at all and are just a lousy,inattentive driver. I think Judy does a great job,too--which is,I'm sure,particularly difficult in a city with so many VIPs who feel that it's their Royal Prerogative to glide unimpeded through any intersection with only a slight tap o'the brake pedal,regardless whether someone else(irritating peons)was there first.I've NEVER had a problem with Judy.Pay attention,kwitcherbitchin,& do what she says.Anonymous,indeed.Lousy drivers.

  9. Yea that idiot that is hating on Judy is obviously one of the same idiots that takes their sweet ass time at intersections where dozens of cars are trying to get to work/school/appointments in a reasonable amount of time. She cuts the time spent waiting by at least 70%

  10. Judy is awesome. Her dedication to her job helps to ensure safe crossing for children. If people are to envolved in everything else in the world besides driving while behind the wheel and they get yelled at... well they deserve it. Pay attention, smile at her, and be thankful that she is there to protect children from all the irresponsible and distracted drivers out there.