Waaay back in June we had all these plans for how to spend our summer with our kids, enriching their lives. We would go to France, or at least learn French. Then July hits and we think, still time to go to a foreign film in French. Now it is the end of August so you settle for ordering a “grande latte”- that’s French, right? With a side of fries- no, make that French fries. Oh, zut, je ne sais pas. Wait, did I just learn French?
Enough about French, we still have one day to combine my two passions- shopping local and cramming some culture down the throats of mes enfants terribles.
To fully embrace this day wherein you attempt to fit a summer’s worth of time into a one-day period, you need to get up and get moving early. So, to start, head over to the YMCA; they open at 5 am. Work out, really, really hard. You should be done by 5:10, right? OK, fine, run until 6 then go back to bed for a few hours.
Ok, it is now 8:15. You’re having difficulty moving due to that hard run but you must! Head over to Fort Thomas Coffee and get that latte- only make it a triple and grab a pastry. You earned it! You ran like a whole mile. Say hi to Lori for me and go plop your child down at the back. Tons of educational toys so while you nod off with cinnamon crumbles on your chin, he can learn how to spell the word “cat” on the magnetic wall.
After Fort Thomas Coffee, walk down (ok, drive, geez) to Fort Thomas Central. They open at 10:00 am and you can get a really neat first day of school gift for your… oh, shoot! Run, I mean RUN back to FTC and pick up your kid. He’s fine, he may have just drunk coffee but, by golly, he will need it for all of today’s culture!
Mini-crisis averted, we’re back on track. Head back to Fort Thomas Central and get a neat gift for his first day of school. And get a CAKE bumper sticker for the back of your car for two reasons: 1) you’re starving after that workout and cake sounds delicious, and 2) your kid just now learned how to spell “cat”; you’re never going to have a “My Child is an Honor’s Student” bumper sticker anyway.
Next up is Dirty Hairy’s. Give your kid a good washing prior to that first day of school; I mean, he hasn’t bathed all summer unless you count pool water. What? It is a store to bath dogs? OK, well, skip it for now but you should really be a better dog owner. Make a mental note to come back tomorrow and wash Fido off (actually, it is a really cool self-service dog spa with ergonomic sinks and all the tools needed; if you haven’t tried it, you really should).
Before you eat that CAKE bumper sticker, head down to the Cobblestone Café off Highland Ave. Get a delicious Apple Waldorf Salad and something off the kid’s menu for Fido, I mean for your kid. But do more than just scarf down the salad. Sit out on the patio and take some time to talk about the first day of school and how your child feels about the upcoming change, his teachers, classmates, etc. Schedule seven minutes for this and plan to do most of the talking. Treat yourself with a brownie (they’re amazing!) and then head back to the car.
Mental note #2, you should’ve brought that dress to the Highland Avenue Plaza to have it altered. You had forgotten that Alterations by Frances moved in. Do that tomorrow after bathing Fido.
Next stop is Tower Park. One last day of pure, unadulterated freedom. Watch him swing higher and higher, slide faster and faster, and… hey. Wake up! He is going to do something amazing in this very moment that you will never see again! Watch! Oh, he hopped on one foot. Wow.
After a couple hours at the Fort Thomas Recreation department sponsored childcare center (aka the park), head down to The Blue Marble. Too late to buy and read all of those Accelerated Reader books from but maybe you could get a jumpstart on next summer’s list!
And while you’re thinking about a jumpstart for next summer, let’s check one last item off our list. Give Debbie Crockett a call over at Provident Travel and go ahead and book that trip to France for next summer. C’est la vie et au revoir!