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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Breaking News: Northern Kentucky to Welcome Professional Basketball Team

One of the great parts of writing for a media outlet like Fort Thomas Matters is getting the opportunity to share truly exciting news with the public. Not long ago, Fort Thomas Matters received some information that seemed too good to be true. We kept it under wraps until we could confirm some of the details in case the news wasn't accurate. We've learned a valuable lesson: sometimes there are things in life that are not too good to be true. This is one of those things.

Move over, Cincinnati. You're no longer the only city along the mighty Ohio River to host a professional sports team. Fort Thomas Matters is happy to announce that a professional basketball team is in the works for the Northern Kentucky area. 

The Kentucky Colonels basketball franchise is being resurrected, and brought to Northern Kentucky. No word yet on where exactly the team will be located, but there's a good chance your next neighbor could be a professional basketball player (not too bad to have around in case you need someone to help reach something on those high shelves at home, right?).

Oh, and did I mention that Ashley Judd is one of the people bringing the team back to Kentucky? Yes, Judd will have to find a way to split her love for basketball between the University of Kentucky Wildcats and the Kentucky Colonels.  

Judd is in good company when it comes to the newly revamped Colonels. Maker's Mark and KFC will be two of the major corporate sponsors backing the team. Here's to hoping you will be taking in a game at the Maker's Mark Center sometime in the near future. 

Also, you can just go ahead and call rap superstar Drake the "Jay Z of the Kentucky Colonels" since he'll also be helping bring the team back to the Bluegrass. Sure, the Barclays Center may be tough to compete with, but do they have one of the world's best bourbon whisky companies sponsoring their team? Nope, didn't think so. Like Judd, Drake is a University of Kentucky Wildcats superfan, and is certain that the new team will be a great addition to the commonwealth's impressive basketball tradition. 

Judd, Drake, and some of the Colonels future business owners are planning a press conference in the near future to announce their plans for the team. The event is free and open to the public, but tickets are required. They will be available soon on the team's website, which is currently under construction. Make sure you use the promo code "April Fool's Day" to reserve your VIP seats at the press conference. 


  1. Hilarious..

    Happy April Fools Day!

  2. Ordering my season tickets now!!!