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Friday, September 25, 2015

Merchant and Music MOAB Style

Everybody knows Fort Thomas is an incredible place to raise your children.  However, when it comes to this year’s Merchants and Music Festival, you may be thinking that “Every Rose has its Thorn” and that the city really struck out for kids in bringing the former  “Rock of Love” star, Bret Michaels, to our community concert.

If you’re thinking that, though, you’d be wrong!

In addition to the former “Celebrity Apprentice”, 80’s rock star, and current alternative country musician’s concert, there are a number of other family-friendly acts as well as alternate entertainment.  See below for the best way to plan your family day at this year’s Merchants and Music Festival.

Food Options:

15 North Pizza will be on sight and introducing their new fresh-squeezed lemonade.

Anita’s will have food for the family and margaritas for Mom and Dad.

915 Pub and Grill - Considering seating will be limited, it may be best to walk and eat,which is where 915 Pub and Grille’s walking taco will come in… wait for it… “handy”.  They will also serve burgers and fried twinkies.

City Barbeque - The best barbeque in the area. Documented.

Fort Thomas Pizza - Pizza and soft pretzel sticks. The perfect festival fare.

Chicago Don’s, the best hot dog cart this side of, well, Chicago, will be on site serving out gourmet dogs.

Marty’s Waffles hopefully will be bringing even more waffles than last year when they ran out.  But just in case they don’t, be first or you’ll regret it a waffle lot.

Arts and Crafts:

Tracey Davis, State Farm, is unlikely to be dressed in khakis but she will be bringing temporary tattoos.

The Children’s Art Academy and INKAA will be doing art crafts under the pavilion all day.

Home Depot will be setting up woodshop and helping you and your children build a bird house from 2-8 pm (which is an insufficient amount of time for my husband to be sure).


The Campbell County YMCA will be bringing a fun photo-booth to the festival and will be supplying a lot of helpers to volunteer throughout the area.  As a good safety tip, it’s a good idea to take a picture of your children immediately before entering a large crowd so in case they wander away, you can show authorities exactly what they were wearing and look like that day.  Or just make a silly face in the booth.

Kaleidoscope Dance will be performing dances for the crowds; if it looks like fun to you or your children, they will have sign-up opportunities on site.

Fun and Play Activities:

Jump N Jacks will be supplying four different bounce houses as entertainment for the kids.  Be sure to let them bounce immediately following Marty’s Waffles and a Chicago dog… then they’re guaranteed to get the bounce house to themselves the rest of the day.  Just kidding… please don’t.  Tickets will be sold for the bounce house or you can buy all-day unlimited bracelets.

If your kids are like mine, their attention span is barely longer than 8 seconds.  Well, you’re in luck because that is all they will need to try out professional bull-riding.  Wait, what?  Not a real bull?  What a load of…well.  OK, ok, family-friendly mechanical bull-riding will be provided for entertainment and fun as well.  The bull will move faster or slower depending on one’s age and skill level.

Guest Characters:

The Chik-Fil-A Cows will be there with chicken sandwiches.

Stilt-walking jugglers will also be performing all around, and above, the festival crowds.

If you prefer to terrify your children, Dent School House (Cincinnati area’s scariest haunted house, owned and operated by Fort Thomas residents) will have a car and characters at the top of the hill.

Drinks FOR KIDS:

OK, this section is misleading.  These are not drinks FOR kids but drinks for adults BECAUSE OF kids.  When you’ve had enough family fun, kick your kids off to bed (preferably with a responsible adult watching them) and come back to the festival to enjoy a drink from one of the six beer options, five winery options, or margarita truck.

So, there you have it.  The perfect plan to your day to make sure it is “Nothing but a Good Time”.  Enjoy the family, the food, “Get Your Ride On”, and have fun because remember, you have “Nothing to Lose”.  Poison.

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