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Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Ask Thomas: Alcoholic or Party Girl?

Ask Thomas

Dear Thomas, 
My boyfriend wants to break up with me. He accused me of getting drunk last weekend and causing a scene at a bar with our friends. I don’t even remember going to the bar much less making a scene. He called me an alcoholic and told me to get help. I think he’s making a big deal out of nothing. I don’t mind losing the boyfriend, I wanted to breakup with him anyway. I just hadn’t planned on telling him in front of all his friends like he told me I did last weekend. But now he has me worried, am I an alcoholic?

Alcoholic or Party Girl? 

Dear Alcoholic or Party Girl?

Don’t know. Sounds like you got drunk and caused a scene that you don’t remember. Conceivably you experienced a blackout. A blackout is a common feature for someone who is alcohol dependent, or an “alcoholic”, so you may be at-risk for becoming alcohol dependent. It appears pretty clear that there is a problem; the more important question is what do you want to do about it?  You could get assessed for alcoholism and then make some informed decisions about your next step or you could do nothing and chalk it up to a failed relationship! But please consider, your complete lack of memory is indicative of… something. You either had a blackout or you may have a brain injury, another possible explanation; both should be checked out. FYI an alcohol assessment is a lot quicker and less expensive than a brain scan. I’m just sayin.


Thomas Cox has been a youth and family mediator for almost 30 years. In that time he has been a family minister, been in private practice, run a school for at-risk kids, been the family counselor for an alcohol and drug treatment program and run an Intensive Outpatient alcohol and drug treatment program.

Thomas is a single parent with three kids, with an 18 year-old senior still at home, and three grandchildren. He is also an award winning professional comedian and motivational humorist, having performed in comedy clubs, schools, and been the keynote speaker for various social, community, and professional organizations.

Currently Thomas is in private practice offering problem solving services and is the Executive Director for Families Matter offering services to children, adolescents, parents and families.


  1. Why not post Thomas's contact info for families that may be in need of his services?

  2. I work at the Newport Tri-D Center; let me know if I can help! 859-431-7747