Sunday, June 11, 2017

Notes from a Reservoir Stakeout: Part One

The following is a transcript of recent events. The date: Friday, June 2. The time: midnight. The place: Fort Thomas, Kentucky.

Remember those commercials that used to say, “It's midnight. Do you know where your kids are?” I don't recall the actual time used in the commercial, but you get the idea. I'm sitting here alone outside the reservoir fence, it's the middle of the night, and I'm wondering if anyone is wondering where I am.

You see, I broke Horror Movie Rule #1. I was told to meet at a specific time and place alone, and I stupidly followed those directions. How did I get here, you may ask? Let me take you back to the beginning of the week...

Last Monday, an anonymous letter appeared on my car. I thought it was a bit odd, but didn't think too much about it. Then, they kept appearing when my car was parked in various places around the area. All on the same letterhead.

Obviously, I assumed that this was some silly prank and asked around to my friends about who could be behind it. The first letter had an X-Files reference but was “signed” from a Stranger Things character. You don't just mix fandoms like that unless it's a joke, right? None of my friends or family would own up to it, but that still didn't raise my suspicions too much at the time.

At the end of the week, I discovered another letter on my car upon leaving work, and quickly went back in the building to review the security video. I was giddy with anticipation because I knew I had them in the crosshairs. I was going to catch the culprit, and like any other mature adult, I was already planning to retaliate with a prank to end all pranks.

That's when things started to get weird.

There was no evidence of anyone leaving a letter on my car in the video. I repeat, no one is seen leaving the paper on my windshield even though the car is in plain sight of the security cameras.

I know by now you think I'm crazy. Here's proof that the letters exist:

The ducks are particularly active tonight. I didn't know could be night owls. (Get it? The ducks aren't night owls...okay, okay, all my jokes are fowl at this hour of the night.)

I'm starting to get a little creeped out being here alone. The first letter did have a Stranger Things reference, and here I am sitting in close proximity to a body of water knowing full well what happened to Barb when she was sitting by that swimming pool.

I call my old friend Milo in hopes of getting some kind of stakeout pep talk.

Milo shows up with rations. I'm grateful for the Fort Thomas Swim Club Tervis cup full of ice water and the leftover steak sandwich from Midway Cafe (according to Milo, steak sandwiches must be consumed during stakeouts). He also lets me borrow a pair of binoculars made out of toilet paper rolls since I didn't have any of my own. #SquadGoals

Since the letters said to come alone, Milo and I decide to split up in order to keep from jeopardizing whatever events are supposedly going to transpire tonight. Milo is now positioned at the back reservoir near Best Furniture Gallery.

There is a series of large splashes coming from the reservoir, but I can't see anything in the water. I'm assuming it's from ducks. I text Milo about it, but he doesn't respond. He likely fell asleep.

I'm wondering at what point I give up and go home when two cops just pulled up. I've been set up, right?

Officer #1 asks what I'm doing there, and I give a Cliffs Notes version of the events. He is looking at me as if I just told him global warming is a hoax. I'm waiting for him to ask to sniff my Swim Club Tervis cup and arrest me on suspicion of intoxication or something.

Luckily, I have the letters on me and show them to the cops. They immediately start acting strangely once I show them the letters. Officer #2 says, “They obviously want her to know the truth. Maybe it's time the city knows what's going on here.” Officer #1 begins to respond, but is distracted by another series of splashes coming from the reservoir. He becomes anxious and tells me that I can stay if I want, but that I should call a friend or someone so I'm not alone. I tell them about Milo being at the back reservoir. He then states that they were just patrolling that area, and “that it was clear of all humans.”

The two police officers just left. There are more splashes coming from the water, but farther away this time. After the officers' strange behavior, I decide to call it a night, and head over to the back reservoir to try and find Milo. He's nowhere to found. All that is left in his place is a box of donut holes with “HNS” written on the box.

What did Milo see? What does he know?

Part two coming soon...

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